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Writer's pictureChurch of the Incarnation

To Walk in Faith is to relearn how to live in this world

One of the the things I noticed about going to church meetings of other clergy where we’re invited to share all the wonderful ministries that are going on is how much it reminds me of this passage from the Gospel lesson today: “Then [Jesus and his disciples] came to Capernaum, and when he was in the house he asked them, "What were you arguing about on the way?" But they were silent, for on the way they had argued with one another who was the greatest.”


I’ve been around the Diocese enough to know now that things like parish profiles, average Sunday attendance numbers, check ins at deanery and synod meetings are filled with these little quips of competition: “we’ve seen x amount of growth, we’ve got this new fresh expression happening, we’ve got y, number of people in the pews.” At first you might interpret this as people - clergy mostly - trying to be encouraging and sharing good news. But when you actually talk to people in private, or when you look at the actual data, you can surmise that a lot of the projection of success they’ve shared isn’t indicative of what’s really going on, or the complexity of things that are actually happening.


As our Gospel lesson indicates, this would seem to be pretty typical behaviour for all of us who struggle with the insecurity that grows out of being uncertain about things. Jesus is teaching his disciples, saying to them, "The Son of Man is to be betrayed into human hands, and they will kill him, and three days after being killed, he will rise again.” But as we heard with Peter last week, so this week we hear the narrator observe that the disciples did not understand what Jesus was saying and were afraid to ask him.


In their uncertainty and apprehension about what Jesus really means, or maybe even more than that, what the implications are for Jesus - their fearless leader - and even for themselves, they do exactly what so many of us do when we’re insecure: they try to project their value, their worth, their capacity, their influence, and power to demonstrate themselves too valuable to be left out or left behind, even if it means they have to stretch the truth or devalue other people to stake this claim. 


It happens in virtually everything we do: applying for positions in schools, in workplaces, even in cemeteries; it happens in friend groups, in the places we work, in our families and friend groups. I think at the very core of it - the real driver of coveting things, of envy and jealousy, of disputes and conflicts - is the fear that we are not enough; that we are not valuable enough. I think in fact that we can fear for our very survival at the most basic human need and for our capacity to maintain our freedom, our capacity, our ability to self actualize if those basic needs are met.


The disciples in our Gospel lesson are arguing about who is first, and those followers being called out in our reading from James for their quarrelling and conflict and coveting, are not at all unique. From leaders in churches, to those in the pews, to every single person confronted with the reality that life is filled with all kinds of uncertainties - all of us face the temptation to protect ourselves against some basic and not so basic fears of survival and loss by trying to demonstrate our superiority, our certainty of being correct, our anger and rage, our contempt for others. Sometimes we do this by stretching the trust, or leaving things out, or twisting it to suit our agendas. Sometimes we do it by tearing others down or spreading gossip or saying things intended to undermine them in others’ eyes. Sometimes we lash out and berate or act out with passive aggressive behaviour. The end result is that we sow dissention, conflict and distrust not just in our little pockets of influence, but this spreads out into our wider culture: our cities, our Province, our Country and this whole world. It’s the seeded fruit of death, as our reading from the Wisdom of Solomon puts it.  


Jesus gives us an alternative to death: to be alive is to allow God’s promise fulfilled in Jesus’ own life, death and resurrection, to penetrate our protective, defensive ways of thinking, acting and relating. To walk with Jesus in this world is not easy. If it’s easy for you, you probably aren’t actually following him. For Jesus’s way so often runs counter to all the ways we measure value, worth, love, truth and success in this world. 


So we’re asked to contemplate these words as we seek to come nearer to God: “Who is wise and understandable among you? Show by your good life that your works are done with gentleness born of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not be arrogant and lie about the truth. This is not wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, devilish. For where there is envy and selfish ambition, there will also be disorder and wickedness of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy.” If this way is hard for us - and I know it is for me - how is God working in your life right now, to reform you to think, so that you can speak and act from the love you have received, with wisdom shared with others? AMEN


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